Randi's Reality

I have finally decided to get comfortable with jail - because I feel like that is what I am supposed to do right now. I am getting used to the routine and I am realizing that this is it. Same thing every single day.

I could be bitter about jail - or I can use this time to better myself and prepare for what is to come.

I could worry about how much time I am looking at or about why my court date got pushed back 2 months - but I choose to worship instead because after all -
"He reached down from on high and took hold of me; he drew me out of deep waters." Psalm 18:16

So praise God for saving me & bringing me here - and for giving me this time to rest and focus and grow and learn.

I also try to enjoy my time instead of just enduring it. I most definitely choose to be joyful. I try to make people laugh - but most of the time, I am just laughing at myself (which usually gets at least a smile out of most.)

I sometimes break into a spontaneous cheer and dance around the dorm. And I even wake up singing songs of praise whenever I can. (Sometimes, some of the guards try to steal my joy by making us sit quietly at the tables for roll call.)

But the joy of the Lord is still my strength.

So, I just say a little prayer for them. And I hope that one day they can find this joy in their lives that I have in mine.

I found a verse yesterday that I absolutely love! "In all our troubles, my joy knows no bounds." 2 Corinthians 7:4

This is so true for me! In all honesty - because I have joy - and it just keeps coming and coming - sometimes I forget that I am even in trouble. And I know it would do me no good to be angry or negative about my circumstances because it is necessary to go through these hardships in order to grow and mature and learn from my mistakes. I cannot correct the past or change the choices that I made.

But I can plan on taking a different course from here on out! And I don't even have to choose which course it is. I just need to be still. Listen. And go - wherever the Lord tells me to go.

Isn't that great that I don't even have to figure out what my next step in life is going to be. I think it is so great! I am too excited about putting my complete faith and my whole life in the hands of God and letting Him do whatever He wants with me!

Wow! Oh, the places we will go! And until then - I am praying up and pressing in. And practicing a better way of living and thinking. Because - after all - they cant keep in me in jail forever!

Randi
10/15/2008