About 5 years ago, I was invited to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting with my HR Manager at my job. We spoke periodically about my "boyfriend's" drug addiction. She told me how AA was not just for addicts, but also for their families as well. Her son had a bad drinking problem and she said going to the meetings helped her understand and cope with his problem.
I dont remember benefiting much from the meeting then. But I am pretty sure it was because I was not ready to quit doing drugs myself. I never returned to AA.
It was never presented to me again until I started participating in the Bible study here. We read a story from "AA in Prison: Inmate to Inmate". And I though maybe I should go again. Maybe being that I was sober, and I do seek sobriety - I could benefit from AA. And moreso, it was something to do. An hour in a classroom rather than being stuck in our smelly dorm.
So I went. I listened. And I got the "12 Steps Book." I know that I dont want to do drugs anymore! Never in my life have I been so sure of something as I am now! What I felt 5 years ago was the complete opposite of what I feel now!
My addiction took over my life! Maybe not in the way it does most people because I thought that I lived a pretty normal life.
I held a full-time job. Went to work everyday. I might have been late - everyday - but I went everyday. I paid my bills. Fixed my credit. Had my own place, a nice truck that was my own - and I slept every night. I thought I was pretty normal.
My addiction was part of my daily routine. I had "control" over the drugs...I thought.
But that was so far from reality! Not until now do I realize that everything and everyone that I neede din my life - I avoided.
I feel closer to my family now than I have in 5 years. I have a stronger-deeper relationship with God now that I have ever had. I have cried out more prayers to God in the last 4 weeks than I have prayed in my entire life.
And everyday in here I see so many prayers answered. Something that before - I didnt have the patience to wait for. It is so amazing - the Power of Prayer! And I never even knew!
So - through prayer and God's Word, I have already decided 110% that I can be sober. And I cant wait!
Randi
8/14/08
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