It is Monday morning and we have just finished Bible Study. I wish I could see the weather outside. I have not looked up in the sky for 3 weeks now. It has been raining. We only get 2 hours a week to go outside and I always go outside to get some fresh air.
I love the outdoors so much and the life I was living has kept me locked up for way too long. I cant wait to go spend time with my daddy! I've always been a daddy's girl - and I miss spending all my free time with him! I cant wait to go fishing with him. We love to fish and it brings tears to my eyes this morning just thinking about all the years I have neglected spending time with him - helping him. I used to love to help him work on cars in his shop. My daddy can fix anything - he is the smartest man I know and he has taught me so much growing up. I used to hunt with him and spend time at the hunting camp. Those were truly the best days of my life. I have wonderful childhood memories at home with my 2 sisters Stephanie and Sharmon.
I thank God every day that they did not turn out like me. I thank God that they do not have the disease of Addiction.
This disease does not discriminate and will destroy the best of people. I'm the only one in my family that it had a hold on but God has kept His hands on me. He never left me. I left Him.
I can honestly say today , it is all because of Jesus that I am alive. I am so thankful for this jail today. As hard as it is being away from my family - it was for the best because I may be dead today if I would not have come here when I did.
October 18th 2007.
I am a walking testimony for real and I want to share with the world how God has saved my life and brought me back to him. He has gotten my full attention!
I got a blessing today - I called my mom and I got to talk to my big sister Stephanie. i have not seen here in these whole 11 months and she asked me to put her on my visiting list. I was so happy just to hear her voice on the phone and I am so excited to see her. I got to see my baby sister - Sharmon - a few weeks ago and she is as beautiful as ever. God is truly busy in my life!
I want to thank Shauna for allowing us the chance to share all that God is doing for us here in jail. You are truly a blessing to me. Randi is doing great. She is a great person and she has such a wonderful spirit that lights up this awful place. We believers do stick together behind these walls. Randi came to church with us Sunday and we had a wonderful time worshiping and praying. I even gave a small testimony and sang "Amazing Grace" God has gifted me with a voice and I plan to use it to praise Him.
*****
We do not have any air today! And we are all HOT in here! They won't open the door because we might get to see the sky. All there is out there is a fence with wire and razors on it - and miles of gardens! Everyone is complaining right now because we have to be fully dressed in our green state clothes and they are HOT!
Lauren is bucking and raring back and Randi is cheering. She thinks she is at church camp - I think its the heat! I've got my pants rolled up as high as they will go but it is not working to cool me off. I move so fast I'm hot all the time so now I'm sweating. All we can do is wait for someone to realize we need some ventilation. the smoke is so thick - it is retarded in here!
Fred is an inmate that controls the air and they are looking for him to fix it for us. I hope they find him soon. Pray for us to get some air!
Tomorrow is commissary day and I thank God for my mom and dad's thoughtfulness to send me money to order the things I need to survive in this place. I'm truly blessed to have my parents help. Thank you Mom and Dad - I love you so much!
Love,
Shelley
It is early Tuesday morning here in the dorm. Everyone is sleeping and I am so happy this morning in jail. I know that may sound a little crazy bit is truly a blessing to be alive. Its all because of Jesus that I'm alive and well today. I have been praying for my mom a lot. My mom is the strongest woman that I know but she worries a lot. Yesterday, she had to go to court because my 12 year old son's dea beat dad is fighting my mom and dad, and does not want to pay child support any longer. He has not seen my son since he was 18 months old and now he is causing all sorts of problems for my mom. I do not know what I would have done without my wonderful parents all these years because I was not there all the time - because I was on drugs and I was so ashamed and did not know how to stop the insanity.
My mom and dad have been there for me always to help raise my 2 kids. I thank God for them and all they have done. I just want to be there for them when I get released this time. This has truly been a life-changing jost for me.
I want them to be proud of me again. I want them to trust me again. I miss my life. The life I once had before the drugs started controlling my life.
**Life is a walk. Each day we take new steps. My tomorrow is determined by the steps I take today.**
I choose to walk with the Lord today. When I was out there in that world walking on my own - I certainly did not know where I was headed.
I certainly did not think I would ever come to jail. And once I did end up here - I have been coming and going ever since 2001. I realize today that God loves me so much that He allowed me to get into difficult places in my life so I would realize how dependent upon Him I must be!
Jeremiah 42:3 - Show me the way in which I should walk and the thing I should do.
I realize today we do not have TRUE FREEDOM until we understand that we cannot take a single step without God's help. I have peace today.
I have peace in my heart and I have peace of mind. I have been doing things my own way and my way truly does not work. Satan and the world had a hold on me for too long. God said "No" and I'm so blessed today and highly favored. I am learning the Word of God and I am growing more and more each and every day.
I am learning to live the Word today. We are walking dead without the Word of God.
I am returning to my Christian roots the way my parents raised me. I have 4 months left in here and I'm pressing on in God's Word to learn it and live it. Please pray for my mom, Norma. I love her so much and I am praying for God to strengthen her and to bless her financially and to keep her healthy and stong.
I have the best parents in the world and they do not have to worry about me ever again. I will be home soon and help you, Mama & Daddy. Thanks for loving me and never giving up on me. Your prayers have been answered and I'm truly coming home to stay. To my beautiful daughter, Shelbe - we call her "Sissy" - Mom is coming home to you darling. Thanks for all the nights you have hit your knees, praying to God to keep me safe and to bring me home. There is power in prayer and God has truly answered your prayers Sissy. Mom loves you and brother so much!
To all believers that are reading this today - please pray for my wonderful family as I do.
PS....I spoke to my mom after she got home from court today for my son. She was upset because for some strange reason - they stopped court and reset another date. All I said to my mom was "God delays on purpose." I told her to trust in the Lord - there was a reason He delayed court.
God Bless you All,
Shelley
8/19/2008
Hi, my name is Shelley Moses. I am 44 years old and I am incarcerated at the West Baton Rouge Parish Detention Center. It is only by the grace of God that I am here today. I can honestly say that jail has saved my life. I have been here 11 months and I have 5 months to go. I was arrested in October 2007 and on February 22nd, I went to court for a probation violation. I had a bed waiting for me to go to rehab and God said no. Today I am grateful that I am still here because I have grown so much spiritually. I know that God has a plan for my life - the scriptures tell me.
Jeremiah 29:11 -14 "For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me whole-heartedly, you will find me. I will be found by you," says the Lord. I will end your captivity and restore your fortune. I will gather you out of the nation where I sent you and will bring you home again to your own land."
Hallelujah!!!
I do know today that God put me here so I could focus only on Him. I have peace in my heart and peace of mind and The Word is truly changing my life.
I was living in bondage from drug addiction. I was so lost and confused. Satan had a grip on me and I was headed for the grave. 2 weeks before I was arrested by the probation officer, I was in bad shape and the doctors said I may not make it through the night. God said "no". God has been having his hands on me all my life. I am locked up in this place but God is not locked out. The presence of the Lord is truly in this place. Lives are being changed right before my very eyes. We have Bible Study every morning at 6am. A disciple is a learner of Christ. Today I call myself a disciple of Christ. The Word of God is life and I choose LIFE.
Lauren is our Bible study leader and she is a blessing. I truly know the meaning of unconditional love. I have so much to be thankful for and I thank God for my family each and every day. They love me so much after all I have done because of this disease of addiction. I know that God has delivered me and I stand on his promises today. I know that God will restore all I have lost because of drugs. Satan has stolen many years from me. He has destroyed so much in my life but God did not let him kill me.
I do not know what I would have done without my parents, Gene and Norma. I love them so much - words can never explain all I have put them through along with my children. I have 2 wonderful children, Shelbe and Sheldon. They are angels from heaven. I am a single parent and it is truly too hard for me to even talk about it. I thank God today that I have been given another chance to be their mother. My kids love the Lord. Shelbe is 19 and she single in the Praise Band at our church. God has gifted her with the voice of an angel. You can hear her sing on www.musicnation.com. (Search for Shelbe Layne Moses - video is below) She has just recently recorded a song she wrote. She is so gifted and I give God all the glory!
I have 2 wonderful children and sisters and I miss them terribly. Stephanie & Sharmon - I love you so much and Sissy is coming home and I need you in my life forever! Cheryl Leblanc, thank you so much for all you have done in helping me with Shelbe. I love you like a sister and more - you are Shelbe & Sheldon's God-mother! It is so awesome to finally know I've been set free. It is all because of Jesus that I am alive and I want the whole world to know what God has done for me and is going to do when I am free to walk out of this prison.
John 8:12 - And you will know the truth and the truth will set you free!
I am going home to get back everything that Satan has stolen from me. I will hid the Word of God in my heart - Psalm 119:11 tells me, "I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you."
Thank you God for a second chance at life. I am going home and serving my Lord & Savior Jesus Christ. I will sing praises to Him all the days of my life. If you have a family member that has a drug addiction, please write me here at the prison. I am praying for all of you that are out there still suffering.
Set free on the inside,
Shelley Moses
