8:42 PM

Shelley - August 19th, 2008

Posted by Shauna |

It is early Tuesday morning here in the dorm. Everyone is sleeping and I am so happy this morning in jail. I know that may sound a little crazy bit is truly a blessing to be alive. Its all because of Jesus that I'm alive and well today. I have been praying for my mom a lot. My mom is the strongest woman that I know but she worries a lot. Yesterday, she had to go to court because my 12 year old son's dea beat dad is fighting my mom and dad, and does not want to pay child support any longer. He has not seen my son since he was 18 months old and now he is causing all sorts of problems for my mom. I do not know what I would have done without my wonderful parents all these years because I was not there all the time - because I was on drugs and I was so ashamed and did not know how to stop the insanity.

My mom and dad have been there for me always to help raise my 2 kids. I thank God for them and all they have done. I just want to be there for them when I get released this time. This has truly been a life-changing jost for me.

I want them to be proud of me again. I want them to trust me again. I miss my life. The life I once had before the drugs started controlling my life.

**Life is a walk. Each day we take new steps. My tomorrow is determined by the steps I take today.**

I choose to walk with the Lord today. When I was out there in that world walking on my own - I certainly did not know where I was headed.

I certainly did not think I would ever come to jail. And once I did end up here - I have been coming and going ever since 2001. I realize today that God loves me so much that He allowed me to get into difficult places in my life so I would realize how dependent upon Him I must be!

Jeremiah 42:3 - Show me the way in which I should walk and the thing I should do.

I realize today we do not have TRUE FREEDOM until we understand that we cannot take a single step without God's help. I have peace today.

I have peace in my heart and I have peace of mind. I have been doing things my own way and my way truly does not work. Satan and the world had a hold on me for too long. God said "No" and I'm so blessed today and highly favored. I am learning the Word of God and I am growing more and more each and every day.

I am learning to live the Word today. We are walking dead without the Word of God.

I am returning to my Christian roots the way my parents raised me. I have 4 months left in here and I'm pressing on in God's Word to learn it and live it. Please pray for my mom, Norma. I love her so much and I am praying for God to strengthen her and to bless her financially and to keep her healthy and stong.

I have the best parents in the world and they do not have to worry about me ever again. I will be home soon and help you, Mama & Daddy. Thanks for loving me and never giving up on me. Your prayers have been answered and I'm truly coming home to stay. To my beautiful daughter, Shelbe - we call her "Sissy" - Mom is coming home to you darling. Thanks for all the nights you have hit your knees, praying to God to keep me safe and to bring me home. There is power in prayer and God has truly answered your prayers Sissy. Mom loves you and brother so much!

To all believers that are reading this today - please pray for my wonderful family as I do.

PS....I spoke to my mom after she got home from court today for my son. She was upset because for some strange reason - they stopped court and reset another date. All I said to my mom was "God delays on purpose." I told her to trust in the Lord - there was a reason He delayed court.

God Bless you All,

Shelley
8/19/2008

1 comments:

Cheryl said...

Shelley,

I enjoyed your letter, I am learning so much from this experience... first and for most, how much I take for granted, but the one thing we all have in common is that NONE of us is free until "we understand that we cannot take a single step without God's help."

Thanks for that reminder!

I'm praying for you today, thanks for sharing your walk with us!

Cheryl